Chapter One

I Want a Barbie Doll

by C. Carson Parks

I want a Barbie doll, five foot ten, maybe six feet tall
She'll come running when I call. oh, I want a Barbie doll.

Though I'm only five foot ten, and not exactly built like Ken
I'll be the envy of other men. Oh, I want a Barbie doll.

No one trying to "find herself"
In a "meaningful relationship"
None of this "trying to get her head on straight"
Boy, I'm fed up with that shit!

We'll go down to the sea in ships - a fine brown frame and slender hips
The taste of salt upon her lips. Oh, I want a Barbie doll.

I think I'll just sit on deck
Not thinkin' 'bout much at all.
She'll have her arms around my neck
'Til our next port of call.

I'll be happy as I can be, with a female crew and little ol' me.
Give new meaning to "put out to sea", oh, I want a Barbie doll!